I haven't had time to write for pleasure in almost two months. I've been at Governor's School for the past 5 weeks. I leave in TWO days! Hell yes! I cannot wait to get out of here. It has been interesting. It has definitely intensified my passion for education, but then there is part of me that worries that I will never be good enough. Which plays into my confidence. If I've learned anything here, it's that I have zero confidence in my abilities as a student, and as a person even.
I constantly doubt myself, underestimate what I'm able to accomplish, and sell myself too short. I mean, I'm at Governor's School for pete's sake! I have no idea how I'm supposed to fix my confidence issues. Like, don't most people talk to others about things like this? Well, who am I supposed to talk to? I don't have anyone that I trust with this stuff. Which goes back to why I don't talk about things. I don't talk because it seems to make things worse for me. I don't talk because it doesn't help me straighten my thoughts out. That's why I write.
I write to heal myself. I write to distract myself. I write to keep myself alive sometimes.
I've got to start packing some things up, since I leave here so soon. I really do need to get back into writing, though. I'm honestly thinking about starting a story of some sort.. I'm not sure yet.
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