I had a moment last night. I decided to pray and read my Bible, just to spend some much needed alone time with God, and ended up spending an hour crying, talking with, and worshiping my awesome God. I got caught up in the books of Romans, Hebrews, and James last night while searching for scripture about faith. Hebrews 12:5-6 stuck out to me: (5) "And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, (6) because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
The more I read into chapter 12, the more I realized that I shouldn't be angry with God. I shouldn't let the bad things in my life stand in the way of my relationship with Him. The chapter goes on to say that God disciplines us like an earthly father would. "For what son is not disciplined by his father?" (12:7) God punishes us for our own good. BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. That was my lesson. God plans those bad things because, "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, is produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." (12:11)
The bad things happen so we will benefit. Good always comes from bad. God always comes from bad.
I then read into James, and was completely in awe. James 1:4-8 says, "(4) Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (5) If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (6) But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (7) That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; (8) he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."
Let's break this down a little bit. Verse 4 is about perseverance, right? Actually, it is about God's testing of our faith. He tests our faith so that we may gain perseverance. Verse 4 is pretty simple, but verses 5-7 are what shocked me. The Lord says is you lack wisdom, ask for it, and He will generously give, but there is a catch. You must believe that He will give. Doubt in God's graciousness will get you nowhere. Trust me, I'm working to trust in God and not doubt his love for me. He then says that anyone who doubt is like a wave in the sea; he calls those who doubt double-minded.
Moving on to James 1:13, "When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone." Just as you shouldn't doubt God, you shouldn't blame him for temptation you may face. We are tempted when we turn away from God, and allow our own evil desires to entice us.
Chapter 2 talks about faith without action. James 2:17 says, "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." I made a note in my Bible beside this verse that simply says "TAKE ACTION!"
How are we, as Christians, supposed to show God's undying love for everyone, if we don't practice what we preach?! An example is given at the beginning of chapter 2: if a rich man comes to you and a poor man comes behind him, do not provide the rich man with the best, and the poor man with only well wishes. (2:9-10) "But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. (10) For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." We shouldn't judge. This is a basic fact, and is actually mentioned in the Bible multiple times. I know I am guilty of judging someone based on race, social status, and even academic success. I stumbled upon one portion of the law, so I am guilty of breaking all laws. I might as well have murdered those I judged.
James 4:8 says: "Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded."
God will draw close to you, but you must WANT Him. You must be willing to purify your heart and wash your hands clean of sins. Isn't it amazing to know that God wants us? Even if you feel completely unloved, hated, or lonely, GOD WANTS YOU. God loves you.
I realized that, throughout my life, God and my parents are the only constants. Just like my earthly parents have sacrificed for me and done as much as they could to provide for me, my Heavenly Father has never left me. He sacrificed for me, and He never fails to provide. I don't know how my dad came up with the money he did last week to make it through to payday, but we made it. I have God to thank for that. he knew our needs and he provided, as always.
Then there is prayer. I'm slowly, but surely, learning to take everything to God in prayer. I'm trying to learn to let go and let God. He holds my future in the palm of His hand. He knows where I will be this time next year, this time 10 years from now, and this time 20 years from now. I cannot control anything. God can. It's time I let God pilot this plane, while I sit in the passenger seat and obey Him.
God is simply amazing. I haven't felt so at peace with my life in years. I never want this feeling to end.
